Every day is a fight to dig myself out of this mental black hole. I’ve hit rock bottom more times than I care to count. For some time, I blamed how I felt entirely on my childhood experience. And although what I lived through was traumatic and may have set off my Bipolar and PTSD conditions, what I refused to accept was that this is now a lifelong battle that affects every aspect of everyday living.
But I am done with hating myself, self-sabotaging, feeling shame, and feeling inadequate. I am done placating this disease or pretending that it’s just like the flu that comes every so often instead of something that I live with. I am done not talking about it because it makes others feel uncomfortable.
And I am not here as a medical professional. I am here as a person who is an expert in living with something that cripples your life invisibly and behind the scenes. My story may be shocking to some and relatable to others, but in the end I am just like you. I’m an ordinary person that struggles daily with an illness that doctors know very little of, and that other people find hard to believe since they can’t see it. I want to bring this conversation to the table where you and I can talk about mental illness freely without negative feedback and blow back. Mental illness is real, and it’s dangerous. It has killed so many people through suicide that it can’t be ignored or dismissed.
This is my story, and like mine there are countless of untold stories out there. So I encourage you to stand up and share your story too. The bravest and most powerful thing we can do is be vulnerable and love ourselves and know that we are worth it. I want us to support each other and heal, and we can start doing that with a conversation.